“This” being the view at Kiki on the River. Claiming to be “the best Greek restaurant in town,” and “best restaurant on the Miami River,” there were some big expectations to live up to.
An afternoon of searching for a healthy lunch in a nice setting is what led us to Kiki’s. After a couple of conversations with friends afterward that confirmed how we felt about the place was valid, I quickly learned we stumbled upon a tourist trap. It’s meant to be a place to party, and not at all a place to have the “best Greek food” in this, or any, town.
As you can already tell, this restaurant falls in the “does not recommend” category. I’ll start with a pro though: the ambiance. Located right on the water, you’re almost transported to a Greek island at any table you sit. Facing the yachts passing by, surrounded by flowers and those iconic blue and marble Greek patterns, there is no doubt this is a beautiful restaurant.
We came around lunchtime and were offered both the brunch and lunch menu. Brunch was more limited in food but had some delicious-looking drinks. With a day of errands ahead, lunch and some Diet Cokes were all we were looking for.
For an appetizer, I started with the Watermelon Salad:
Five slices of watermelon are garnished with a handful of arugula, feta crumbles, some olives, and a vinaigrette dressing. I’m sorry, but this was criminal. To feature five small slices of watermelon on a plate, throw some garnish, and charge $20, it’s just not right.
Not even of some incredible quality or specialty ingredients, there isn’t much to justify this cost or this being considered a meal. Firstly, the watermelon itself lacked the vibrant sweetness when it’s perfectly ripe (you can see the white rinds even in the picture). Instead, it tasted bland and uninspired, missing that juicy burst that should be the star of a watermelon salad. The arugula was fine in taste but thoughlessly throw into the plate, offering little to elevate the dish. The feta crumbles lacked the creaminess and tang that usually contrasts so well with the sweetness of the watermelon. The olives, though not a traditional pairing with watermelon, could have added a nice depth. Instead, they clashed with the other ingredients, creating a discordant flavor profile that felt off-balance. What’s worse, they had pits.
The vinaigrette dressing did little to tie the ingredients together. Rather than enhancing the flavors, it masked them with an overly acidic bite, making each component feel disjointed. The quality of the ingredients themselves was subpar, which only compounded the salad’s shortcomings. When working with simple, fresh ingredients like watermelon and arugula, the quality is everything. Here, it was clear that the ingredients were not at their peak, leading to one of the most lackluster salad’s.
Big pass. I was hoping the Lamb Gyros, an iconic Greek meal, would be better.
Lamb, tzatziki, cucumber, tomato, and red onion, served in a mini pita and topped with Greek oregano and feta cheese. Served alongside a side of Kiki fries.
Gyros, when done right, have a robust flavor that can transport you straight to the streets of Athens. Unfortunately, the lamb gyros at Kiki on the River did not take me to no such place.
Traditionally, lamb is the star of the show. In its most classic form, gyro meat—often a mix of lamb and beef—is marinated with a blend of Mediterranean herbs and spices, then slow-cooked on a vertical rotisserie. This cooking method allows the meat to stay juicy and tender while developing a crispy, flavorful exterior. The gyro is typically served on a warm, fluffy pita, which is the perfect vessel to soak up the juices from the meat. It’s then garnished with fresh, cool ingredients like tomato, cucumber, and red onion, and topped with a dollop of creamy tzatziki, a yogurt-based sauce that adds a refreshing tang to the dish.
While Kiki had all the right ingredients on paper, the execution was just lacking. To begin with, the choice to serve the gyros in mini pitas detracts from the dish. A good gyro pita should be substantial, soft yet sturdy enough to hold the hearty fillings without falling apart. The mini pitas used here were too small, making the overall experience feel insubstantial. The lamb, which should have been rich and flavorful, was bland and lacked the succulent texture that comes from proper marination and cooking.
Also, tzatziki was notably missing. Major miss! The cucumbers and tomatoes added a bit of crunch, but they couldn’t compensate for the overall lack of seasoning in the dish. (The best way to have lamb will always be mixed with beef to make Cevapi for me).
As for the Kiki fries, they were a pleasant surprise and one of the highlights of the dish. Crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside, the fries were well-seasoned and had a delightful crunch that made them enjoyable on their own. They were generously sprinkled with Greek oregano and a touch of feta cheese, giving them a subtle tang that elevated the overall flavor. While the fries didn’t quite fit with the traditional gyro experience, they were yummy, providing a satisfying side that stood out in an otherwise underwhelming dish.
The only thing I will say is they’ve focused on making the entire restaurant “Instagrammable.” From the neon lights when you walk in to the roses dangling from the hallway ceilings, anywhere you turn there is a pretty picture opportunity. If this matters to you, you’re going to love it. Phone booths, mirrors, and rustic decor updated to be modern galore. If not the food tasted as good as the setting looked…
But for one small watermelon salad, lamb gyros, and 2 diet Cokes to come to $94 with tip, even getting to take home a bouquet of roses wouldn’t make this experience better. Maybe if I were in my early 20s looking to dance on the bar Mykonos-style, this would be more my jam.
In a city like Miami, where fresh produce and vibrant flavors are abundant, it’s disappointing to see dishes fall so far below expectations, especially in such a beautifully situated restaurant. While Kiki on the River delivers on ambiance, the food—at least in my experience—does not live up to the setting. If you’re seeking a picturesque spot to enjoy a drink by the water, this may be the place. But if you’re looking for a memorable meal, pass on Kiki.
