It’s always a great day to dine in a mansion when you’re in South Beach. Gianni’s at the former Versace Mansion is one of the most famous ones that visitors, bachelorettes, and date nights from all over Miami like to come to. With its opulent decor and ritzy South Beach location, I had high hopes this place would deliver an unforgettable dining experience.
To start we got a great appetizer for sharing: Fried Shrimp, Calamari, and Zucchini. On paper it sounded like a classic crowd-pleaser, and being that there were 4 of us, that’s what we needed. In reality, it was just ok, if anything a bit underwhelming. The shrimp were a tad overcooked and the batter used for them and the calamari was bland. The zucchini fries were nothing to write home about either. Soggy, oily, and sauceless to top it off. A disappointing start for sure that we hoped would be all uphill from here:
For my main course, I went with the highly recommended Lobster Spaghetti.
Thick noodles, cooked to al dente, and covered with a classic Roman tomato sauce. The noodles were cooked right, nothing too crazy to report there. I was expecting quite a bit from Gianni’s sauce, being an Italian restaurant; but, I found this version was extremely tame and lacked any real kick or zest. Disappointing considering spaghetti is a pasta that’s ripe for brightening.
Moving to the lobster, this thing is hard to miss from miles away. A large whole lobster tops the plate, shell and all. You can remove it to get straight to the meat and mix it with the noodles, or enjoy on its own for a bit. For such a luxury ingredient, the lobster should have been the shining, succulent jewel – bursting with sweet, briny ocean flavor. Sadly, it was just…meh. The lobster had no punch at all – it was almost like they forgot to season it. On the plus side, it was plentiful. Getting those meaty chunks isn’t easy, so having it pulled and plenty available was a win.
But, with such high expectations, I’d hoped Gianni’s Lobster Spaghetti would transport me to Italy’s sun-drenched coastline with its vibrant sea tastes. Sadly, this poor rendition couldn’t even get me to the Jersey Shore. It’s a real missed opportunity to showcase some Italian culinary flair and technique. And for almost $60 a plate, it was a borderline insult.
My partner wasn’t too interested in pasta and the Australian Lamb Chops on the “Signature Quality Meats” menu was something we don’t come across too often.
When you see “Australian lamb” on a menu, you expect the chops to be nothing short of sublime – the perfect balance of tender, succulent flesh with a gorgeous charred crust, and heady aroma. Australian lambs are renowned for their delicate, mild flavor thanks to being raised on a diet of grasslands and botanical herbs. Done right, these chops can be an umami-bomb with layers of savory depth.
Right off the bat, for an entree in the $50 range, the portion size was laughably small – 3 meager lollipop-sized chops when you ignored the bone. Not the generous, hearty portion we were anticipating. But worse, the underwhelming flavor. The chops had a one-note profile completely lacking any dimension or seasoning that resulted in blandness. For lamb of this pedigree, it was a subpar preparation. While the accompanying mashed potatoes were quite delicious, this was another dish that just fell short. If the mashed potatoes are the saving grace, you’re in trouble.
The final dish that made it’s way around family style was the Mushroom Pasta. And while I could include the picture, and go on about how it was overly salted and the sauce reminded me of canned mushrooms, I’ll just save your time and tell you don’t order it. You’re better off making this dish at home, with most any online recipe.
I wasn’t even going to include the Greek Salad, as it was just a side order for some greens to go with the pasta. But it was the unsung hero of the entire meal. Fresh tomatoes, bell pepper, onions, cucumber, kalamata olives, and feta cheese with black pepper and olive oil. Bright, colorful, and most importantly, very fresh. The tomatoes and cucumber tasted like they were picked at peak ripeness, and the dressing exactly how I like it, practically non-existent. I did not expect this after thought to be everyone’s favorite dish:
My advice? Come to Gianni’s for delicious handcrafted cocktails and to soak up the scenery. But prepare to be underwhelmed by the taste of the food that doesn’t remotely live up to the Versace name and price tag. I wanted to love this place. It’s a gorgeous space, but not much else beyond that. The baroque, Venetian-inspired interiors are every influencer’s dream Instagram backdrop. But at the end of the day, ambiance can only get you so far (see Jaya at the Setai next door) in this cutthroat restaurant game.
Also, the last comment on the Green salad being the hero feels a little rude to this guy. RIP unsung hero for the pictures but not so much taste of the dish:
